I'm busy? Day 28

Well, I really wanted to write the title of this entry as "I'm busy...Bull Sh@t. I'm not trying to be vulgar; it's just really what I feel. I kind of got a little depressed this morning thinking about all the things that I need to pay off, settle up, put in order and so on and so on. But Day 28 in the count down as I die to myself dealt with time management.

Anyone who knows me is well aware that organization skills and my picture are at opposite ends of the dictionary. And part of that organization deficit (a politically correct way to say it and make me not feel so poorly) is my inappropriate use of time.

So here is the results of my Lifework from the book One Month to Live:

1. I am suppose to keep a journal for a week to see how I used my time "wisely". I wish you could see the sarcastic smirk I have in my mind right now. But I will have to write the results of this after a week. So, BRB on this one.

2. Ok, so the second question was "What is the biggest time waster in your past week?". I laughed as I read this. Bare with my sarcasm. Although it wasn't the BIGGEST time waster this week I have to mention my new found obsession with Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook. And in my defense I can't say it was an honest waste of time. I mean, after all, I have achieved Badge 8 Gem Polisher and presently have 61,000+ coins in my Bejeweled bank. That is the only bank I have any coins accumulated in.

But in all seriousness, I waste a lot of time on anything that electrical. Perhaps I can just project all the guilt on Ben Franklin and Thomas Edison. If they had wasted more time on senseless entertainment then perhaps electricity and the light bulb would have remained a secret. But I know that it isn't healthy. I just waste time. Bottom line. Computers, TV, musical devices, etc. And what does it profit me? Depression, anxiety, tiredness, lack of productivity, a never-ending to-do list. As I reflect back to before I got married to Shelly and had kids, I remember not having a TV or cable. I saved money and time. I was productive. I went to bed earlier. I slept and was rested. I was thinner. I was closer to God. It doesn't mean that marriage was bad for my health. (Although that does sound funny.) It just means I let go of something precious rather than carrying that into my marriage and instilling a legacy of simplicity in my kids lives.

3. The third question asked if I felt like I was under a frozen tundra or in the spring of life. Well, well, well. Honestly I am frozen but I think a better analogy works for me. I am more like a frozen pork roast. (No fat jokes now.) I feel like God took me out of the freezer I have put myself in and has thrown me in the microwave. As most of you may know, microwaves thaw meat from the inside out. While I feel my outside circumstances have me trapped, I feel God breaking the ice from the inside out. It may take a while. Maybe even resetting the minutes a few times. But eventually I am going to be free again.

My goal this week is to evaluate my time and see if I can spend less time on the wasted time and more time on productivity. I want to redefine relaxation in my life. I want that to mean time with God, time with family, long walks, less couch time. I'll keep you updated.