The Pure Life

This first blog entry is inspired out of my own midlife crisis. I am finding myself at 41 looking around, dazed and confused, about where I have been and, more importantly, where am I going. But today I got a weird spiritual intervention from God. Now, I just hope I can live out this Kingdom Life principal.

So, I am sitting in my office, listening to John Wimber teach on church planting, looking up a couple of different church groups and thinking where in God's name am I going and what am I doing? So, I stop John Wimber's teaching, lean back in my chair and say, "God, what do you want me to do?" Although, probably deep inside I meant, "God, what do you want from me?"

And this is going to sound weird and perhaps even cliche, but I looked over at the bookshelf in my school office (which happens to be a closet between two rooms and no window) and of the 50+ books on my shelf, I find myself focusing on Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life. Now, I know most of you may have read it, but for me it came out right when I was going through a crisis. I read about three chapters and thought, "This is my life!" So, I stopped reading the book and just focused on what I was going through and reading my Bible.

But this time God was more specific to me. Specifically, I felt the Holy Spirit say to me "123-126". Call me a mystic, but I decided to read those exact pages. Guess what, 123 was the beginning of a chapter called What Matters Most. I could probably just leave a big ________________ here and you all could fill in what would seem to be the obvious. But since I went through that gut wrenching crisis a few years back and got extremely close to God in the process, I backslid.

There, I said it. I backslid.

No. I did not fall into deep sin and quit loving God (as if I have the power to not love LOVE). I just looked back for a while. The scary part for me though is that ringing verse. You know, the whole "putting your hand to the plow and then looking back makes you not fit for the Kingdom" thing. But my looking back isn't so much the wanting of the world, but the staring at the cares of this world.

The past few days, no, make that weeks, God has been messing up my comfort. Ironically, my comfort has been my excuses for being where I am at. I mean stressed and afraid. I must confess that "by my own strength I have failed."

So, what was the epifany that hit me in Warren's book? LOVE.

I don't know how often I heard Phil Strout say, Love God, Love People. It became the montra of his church in Lewiston, ME. And it stuck. So, if you read this Phil, thanks.

Rick makes three statements in these few pages. I will build off them.

1. Life without love is really worthless.

OUCH!!! Did Rick Warren just tell me I was living a worthless life? In essence, yes. If I am not living to love then I am probably not loving to live. Ironically, at 41, I have found myself obsessed that I only have about 40 more years left on this earth. And every ache and pain has me second guessing if I'll get that much. And why do I feel this way? I am not really living a life of love.

2. Love will last forever.

In this statement he goes on to talk about leaving a legacy of love. I think, if I am honest, I am really leaving a legacy of worry, anger and stress for my kids. So, what monsters am I creating? (My kids are great, but I have the power to screw them up. Sorry for the strong words, but true.)

And when I really think about it, isn't God Love? Love never fails, isn't selfish or ... you know the rest of 1 Cor 13. Yet, I am SO focused on "the cares of this world" that I am letting them choke the very life out of me.

3. We will be evaluated on our love.

"God, don't let me die today." Evaluations are never the greatest things to go through. But my Love Tank has been operating near the E and bordering on fumes.

The Westminster Confession says we were created to Love God and Enjoy Him Forever. Allow my to use a little creative liberty mixed with some logic.

God is love. If God is Love then Love is God. So, we could write the Westminster Confession like this:

Love Love and Enjoy Love Forever.

Now for all you squeaking religious types I am not having flashbacks from 1969 (although I like to joke that I ran around naked in 1969, but I was born in 1969). I am not referring to eros and phileo. I am referring to AGAPE.

So, here is my prayer:

"God, help me to love as you love for the first time again. I have gotten off target. Recenter me. Let me start by loving my wife better and with more submissive humility. Let me love me children better and not just fit them into my schedule. God, kill my business if it is in your way or in the way of loving like I should. Forgive me for not trusting your unfailing love and allowing the cares of this world to choke me. Help me to Love God and Love People. In Jesus Name. Amen!"